Buy Meal.com - Guide to Good Food

The Restaurant Chronicles, Part 1

Email 50 Million Daily - FREE!

Have you ever heard that saying, "The show must go on"? When you hear it, you think of what is commonly referred to as "Show-biz," don't you? But where can you go to see the best acting money can buy, any day of the week? No, I'm not talking about the theatre or TV. I'm talking about the "Restaurant-biz." Servers, bartenders, hostesses, and restaurateurs act on a daily business. Their performance is crucial! Every movement, every word, every bite is an integral part of the restaurant-goers experience, and any one of these parts, if it isn't just right, could lead to the restaurant-goer, well, going.

Many a restaurant owner has held their breath as they flipped to the local restaurant critic's (probably some pompous, pretentious old windbag), page to see what he or she has to say about their establishment. This write-up has the power to make or break a restaurant, especially a privately owned one. Unfortunately the only critiques a server gets to give are given behind a kitchen door, in a server station, or over a beer (or several) at the end of a shift. Well, the restaurant critic has held the pen too long! The time has come for the server to speak up and critique the customer for a change!

I, as a former member of the exclusive club known as the Restaurant Industry, am about to attempt a categorization of several different types of patrons. This will be the first installment of a series I like to call, "The Restaurant Chronicles." In this, Part 1, I will begin a labeling process which will hopefully serve as both comic relief for others in our distinguished field, and also to illuminate those who may unknowingly belong to one (or more) of the following groups. Let's see, where should we begin?

The Chatty-Cathy: This breed of customer is more interested in gabbing and/or gossiping with friends or colleagues than ordering or eating food. She or he is content to have the server stand and wait while finishing the conversation. This customer will ignore the server every time they come back and ask whether a refill or some other service is needed. If the server has to repeatedly ask the question, this customer will often flash a dirty look or make a snide comment.

The Cell Phone Addict: This lonely soul cannot seem to put their cell phone down long enough to even order. They insist on pointing to items on the menu and requiring their server to guess at their order instead of simply putting their phone down and speaking.

The Sally: If you've seen the movie When Harry met Sally, you have seen a frighteningly realistic example of the high-maintenance guest. This person says thing like, "I'll have this roast turkey sandwich, except can I get it with mustard instead of mayonnaise? Actually can I have a little bit of both on the side, and, uh, no tomatoes? Do you have rye bread? Could you have them toast it? And could I have a mixed green salad instead of the pasta salad, but with ranch... I don't like that vinaigrette you guys use. Do you think I could get a coke instead of this tea? It tastes funny." Although they speak in sentences that sound like questions, an experienced server recognizes them for what they truly are, demands.

The Dummy: This simple creature somehow manages to find their way to the restaurant, although it's hard to imagine how. They come in through a door directly below a giant neon sign, flashing the word "OPEN," and ask, with a blank look on their face, "Are you guys open?" The menu may have the word, in huge letters, BREAKFAST on the cover, and they will ask, "Are you guys serving breakfast?" This client teaches their server the art of patience, because it is nearly impossible not to reply sarcastically to such moronic questions.

The Merry Mommy Club: This group of lovely ladies and their lovely children is always a treat, if your idea of a treat is hurdling small children, while at the same time, maneuvering large heavy trays of hot food and liquids without losing your balance, as they run under your feet. This species of diner loves to sit for hours and hours chatting, as they consume only small side dishes of food and sip away gallons of decaffeinated coffee, or every server's favorite, hot tea! They squeak in babynese, and compete in the "My baby can do this... " game. They also are notorious for their lack of observational skills, as their older children compete in creating a virtual "Obstacle Course" for servers and other guests by climbing on top of tables, running behind the counter, and other various activities.

Well, that concludes Part 1 of the Restaurant Chronicles, but fear not, my wonderful readers! I plan to continue my exploration of this fascinating creature, known as the diner, in Part 2. So please come back and learn more about this interesting, exciting, and often times, just plain weird business, we Restaurant folk affectionately refer to as, well... our job.

Toni Kiser is a recently married, college graduate from North Carolina. She worked as a server, manager and bartender in the Restaurant Industry for over 12 years. She now lives in California with her husband, a musician and computer-programmer. She has been writing all her life, and hopes to one day write a collumn in a magazine or newspaper.

Email 50 Million Daily - FREE!

MORE ARTICLES:

Toronto Restaurants Famed for Best Food Styling
Toronto is a place famous for its unique food styles and eminent eating out places. One can take the utmost delight in trying out its popular cuisines namely Italian, Chinese and Greek cuisines. For one thing you would not have to take any pains or put in extra effort looking out for the food you are interested in. Besides this, here you will not have people telling you the must try delicacies, as one can easily plan out and enjoy ones own little food hunt. While on a trip to Toronto there are certain places you should not miss out on. Toronto restaurants are known for their ambience, tranquility and their own different styling of food. To start with, Pangaea restaurant on the famous Bay Street is a must visit place, beautifully struc...

Healthy Cooking Does Not Mean Eating Bland And Boring Food
Eating healthy should always be a priority. Healthy eating can be accomplished by simply changing eating habits and changing the methods you use to cook. There is no need to cook bland or boring dishes, many options are available. Understanding the flavors your dishes use means eating well and feeling well.

Restaurants And Food Allergies...a Problem?
Why don?t restaurants know what ingredients are in their food?

Healthy Eating And Super Food - 3 Food Categories That Help Burn Fat
I'm wondering if you're already aware of what I'm about to share with you? There is some good news for people trying to lose fat and slim down to a healthier and more attractive lifestyle: there are actually foods you can eat with will burn fat for you with any effort on your part. Even better, they can easily be assimilated into any diet; in fact, you may already be eating them on a regular basis and not even know it.

Ambrosia Restaurant Wins Best Chef/Restaurant in 14th Annual Best of OC Guide
The world-class Ambrosia Restaurant and Executive Chef Michael Rossi have been selected as the Best Chef/Restaurant for Santa Ana in the 14th Annual Best of Orange County guide.

Sisters Launch Gourmet Food Sister-Stores Focusing on Good Food and Good Health
Two sisters make a mid life career change to be gourmet food retailers. Knowing that Americans today face challenges of weight loss, heart disease and other obstacles affected by diet, they have doubled their endeavors and opened two stores instead of one. I Fancy Food at http://www.ifancyfood.com is their 'anything goes' store, featuring uncommon, artisan and international foods. I Fancy Food is online as well as local, as a newly opened store in Jonesborough, TN. Their lighter side is the online-only 'Fresh Approach Diet Store', at ...

Italian Restaurant, Antonino's, Ranked Top In Inland Empire By Major Food Critic
?Antonino's in Rancho Cucamonga is one of those fine dining restaurants that lots of the locals know about but those outside of the area are not familiar with. It is one of the top Italian restaurants in the Inland Empire,? states Allan Borgen,

More Fast Food Restaurants Are Using Security Camera Systems To Protect Their Business
Often, a thief or a robber would like to attack a place, which is easier to be looted easily. Because, even these evils also know that most of the places now are covered with round the clock surveillance through security cameras. Moreover, they would not want to select a location, where they are likely to face difficulties in running when the police alarm goes on. Therefore, these thieves are contemplating new options and ideas to accomplish their evil task.

Food Poisoning in Fast Food Restaurants
With the advent of fast food chains, and the ever-increasing pace of our lifestyle, it has actually been very much convenient to order food to go on any fast food establishments.

BigHoller Inaugurates Online Ordering Restaurant Dining Guide - I Must Eat
With a robust directory of over 600,000 restaurant listings and the ability to contour search results by details -- including geographical area, cuisine and whether the restaurant accepts online orders and online reservations -- I Must Eat (www.IMustEat.com) offers something for everyone looking to discover new meal experiences, while simplifying the search and order process.

Historical Restaurant Mirrors Change In Los Angeles' Food And Drink Scene
Los Angeles' noted Brown Derby restaurant played host to many stars during Hollywood's 'Golden Age.' The eatery was an example of novelty architecture, as it was built to resemble a brown derby hat. The Brown Derby was the first restaurant to serve chiffon cake, a recipe invented by an insurance salesman and later given wide distribution by Betty Crocker.

New Ice Scoop Ensures Safe Handling, Food Safety at Restaurants and Bars
The new San Jamar Saf-T-Scoop? & Guardian System ensures safe ice handling at restaurants and bars. Food safety in the food service industry is a legitimate concern, as a recent study found more than one out of every five samples of ice contains high levels of bacteria.

Authentic Northern Vietnam Cooking Recipes in Hanoi?s High-end Restaurant
With fluorescent lights bleaching the steel surfaces and plumes of scented smoke rising from shing copper pots, this could be anyone of the bustling kitchens in Hanoi?s high-end restaurants But at KOTO (which stands for Know One, Teach One), creating tantalising dishes is only one of the restaurant?s aims

Best Ingredients for All Natural Dog Foods Using This Simple Homemade Dog Food Recipe
Making your own homemade dog food with this recipe is easy and will give your dog the best all natural dog foods available. Just remember that in the wild your dog would catch small prey and eat the whole thing. This consisted of the meat, bones, organs, even the heart, brain and eyes (which are high in taurine). The vegetables they would get were in the stomach and digestive tract of the animals already partially digested. If you make your all natural dog foods to imitate your dogs prey hey will enjoy optimum health and love you for it.